Monday, September 29, 2008

The Great Schlep

Since Sarah Silverman already reminded us of the Jewish vote's importance in Florida (let's pray for not one single hanging chad this November), LA Times' Joel Stein schleped to the Southeast to do his mitzvah: talk to the grandparents about voting for Obama. Though my grandfather lives in Florida for half the year, he's not an American citizen (only Canadian), so any persuasive speech I could give would not have any weight this time around (did it ever?). To all you Jewish grand kids with American grandparents: schlep on down to the FL or at least pick up the phone and make your case for Obama!

Isn't She Lucky, This Hollywood Girl?

No one ever claimed Britney Spears was a gifted singer, but this video (brought to you by my friend's bro, Jordan) leaves no room to ever claim so.
While Brit was taping an HBO concert special, her mic was left on... though she's dancing hard, we get a taste of unaffected Britney vocals. It's rough times. My fave is Britney whisper-yelling, "and now you're out of sight" during a slower version of Baby... One More Time.

Country First?

Dear John McCain, If you really did put your country first, you would not have chosen a running mate that gives answers like this (taken from the Couric/Palin interview): COURIC: Why isn't it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700 billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care, housing, gas and groceries; allow them to spend more and put more money into the economy instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a role in creating this mess? PALIN: That's why I say I, like every American I'm speaking with, were ill about this position that we have been put in where it is the taxpayers looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health-care reform that is needed to help shore up our economy, helping the—it's got to be all about job creation, too, shoring up our economy and putting it back on the right track. So health-care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions and tax relief for Americans. And trade, we've got to see trade as opportunity, not as a competitive, scary thing. But one in five jobs being created in the trade sector today, we've got to look at that as more opportunity. All those things under the umbrella of job creation. This bailout is a part of that. *Many thanks to Marisa who pointed me to this concise, spot-on Palin assessment.

I Can See Alaska From My House!

This could be your next Vice President. Obama '08!

Oh Mother

Christina Aguilera's baby has 2 of the most amazing qualities any baby could ask for: he's an Aguilera and he looks like a long lost Culkin brother.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Thanks, But No Thanks

Since Sarah Palin is digging her own political grave, I will withhold my rant of disgust. Instead, this linkage can do all the talking. The Couric/Palin interview on CBS dared to probe Palin's foreign policy experience, and confirmed voters' fears: apparently being geogrpahically close to other countries is a real resume boost! And now, because of these horribly embarrassing remarks Palin believes pass as a respectable credential, even conservatives are seeing the light. Yes We Can!

Yasher Koach

I think it's fair that not everyone is familiar with the Jewish holidays, as I am sure there are many Catholic or Christian celebrations that go unnoticed in my little universe. But when you work in Hollywood, the High Holidays aren't exactly a secret... or so I thought. One Dreamworks assistant is clearly out of the loop and it made my morning quite a bit funnier.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Breaking News!

I usually hate on Sarah Silverman, but this video just changed my mind! For once, she's not trying to hard or over using inapprope language: it's a perfectly timed bite of political comedy. Keep it up, Sarah!
*Thank you to Drew for showing me the light.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Funny Because It's True

I've never really cared about Charlize Theron, but this quote almost makes me a fan. Charlize, like me, thinks The Hills is a crock,
"I realized that this f*cking show is huge. Now I'm going to ask you a question: Why? Why is it so big? It's about nothing! This is a free country. Freedom of speech! You can tell me right now to my face that Reindeer Games was a piece of sh*t. That's totally fine. But The Hills is about nothing. I think the girls are beautiful and when they cry their mascara runs and that's real, but I don't get it!"

I Love It When You Call Me Big Papa

Unlike Tupac, the Notorious B.I.G. is dead. But his story and music live on in the upcoming film Notorious, premiering January 16, 2009. I will be first in line to see this cinematic masterpiece. Movie ticket: $10 Popcorn: $4 Actors paid to have B.I.G's lazy eye, dance like Diddy, and dress like Lil' Kim: priceless.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

Campbell Brown is pissed off, and you should be too! Today she wrote an angry plea to the McCain campaign team imploring them to 'free' Sarah Palin. Brown accused the repub's team with sexist treatment of their VP pick, saying Palin is being treated like "a delicate flower who will wilt at any moment" since the press has had virtually no access to her for interviews or press conferences. My political views are not in line with Palin, but if she is indeed the formidable opponent we've been told, then why be so guarded? If the McCain team is worried she will misspeak, well, that's the consequence of their purely political VP choice. With only 41 days left until the election, voters need as much information as possible on each candidate. Whether keeping Palin from the press is sexist or not, it is hurting any voter who is still grappling the issues and their presidential choice.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Live From New York

People who hate on Saturday Night Live just don't get it. I'm not going to bother with an explanation because if you need one, then you clearly don't get it either. Instead, here a few skits that tickled my fancy when they originally aired and gave me a chuckle today as well:
I could click my way through all of Hulu for the next billion years to bring you comedy from the SNL of my childhood and its current cycle, but I encourage you to tune in each week or surf for highlights all by your lonesome. Plus, with this fall's SNL Thursday Night Live, a politically themed 30-minute installment, you will have one more opportunity to shed your contempt.

Train Wreck

This just may be my most life-changing post yet, so pay attention! If you saw Lars and the Real Girl, or even head of it, then you need to read the following pressing information. Lars was based on the documentary Guys and Dolls, which followed three men and their relationships with their Real Dolls. For those who don't know, Real Dolls are the ultimate blow-up doll: tailor made with physical specifications of your choice, Real Dolls can fulfill your every fantasy, including basic companionship, as seen in the docu. It's fascinating and disturbing at the same time, but once you've watched, make sure you Google the Real Doll website and check out the FAQ section. The inquiries' absurdity brings the LOL's and the names and looks of each doll, including male forms, are priceless (actually, the dolls thousands of dollars). Can't get enough of the creepiness? The doll craze expands with Re-borns: baby dolls made to look as unique and fresh-out-of-the-oven as real babies. Similar to Guys and Dolls, My Fake Baby: Living Doll introduces us to re-born 'parents' and a re-born doll artist. Though most owners are adults who are unable to conceive, suffered the loss of a child, or simply want a baby without the responsibility, my friend who intro'd me to the re-born world has also seen young girls with these dolls, being used as a high-end toy.

Love Lockdown

I love music but many could argue my taste is questionable, depending on how judgmental you are feeling. But, since my mans and I have very different musical loves, I've decided to open my ears, for the sake of tolerating long car rides (sike, it's not really that bad).
Last night I went to the Raconteurs show here in the city if angels and found new love for Jack White. He displayed solid footwork while playing his many guitars and his raspy voice was a treat! I didn't really care for the opening act or its lead singer's choice to smoke during a song (meaning she purposely brought her cigs on stage with her, that tries-too-harder), but I enjoyed the venue- the Greek Theatre- and while the show wasn't exceptionally long, its length allowed the band to leave on a high note (no pun intended).
Another current fave: Kings of Leon on SNL. This sex is on fire: those beardy hipsters found a way into my cold heart!
Some other faves that I love without having to push my musical boundaries: Kanye West's new single (R.I.P. Donda) for its diversion from current hip hop themes, Danity Kane (but not pretty, pretty Aubrey), Solange Knowles (Beyonce should be pissed her sister's second effort is far superior to any of her own albums) and last but not least, Herbie Hancock featuring Christina Aguilera on "A Song for You:" Christina is on fire during her 20's, 30's, 40's throwback incarnation (with a modern twist, of course).

Friday, September 19, 2008

Still Worried.

I wasn't kidding. This is the most worried baby. Ever.

I'm Going to Baja

Here's the 411 on the new 90210: Kelly Taylor has a son and that's all you should care about. He has curly blond hair and his father's identity has been a mystery... until now! It's confirmed that Dylan McKay is the daddy but won't be gracing us with his sideburns this time around. Tear. As a die-hard fan of old school 9-0, I'm not sure I buy Dylan as the father. My bff Taylor will clarify,
"In the sometimes unintelligible words of Amy Winehouse, what kind of fuckery is this? Bearing in mind that I didn't watch the last eleventy billion seasons of 9-0, I still remember Dylan going on his merry way to be with Bren in the land of characters we got rid of. If anybody is the baby daddy it should be Brando so Bren can be the aunt and she and Kelly can bond or fight over that. I am displeased. Note if for the record."
Noted, my friend.

She Want That Lovey Dovey, That Kiss Kiss

PDA can be kind of obnox, but this kiss is completely sweet and insanely sexy at the same time. I heart them both.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Stop Looking At Me, Swan!

Motown Philly

This is one of my favorite 90's television moments. Stephanie Tanner was at her best.
(And no, Mr. Bear was not in the audience.)

Caution: Aldergator Crossing

One of my favorite TV shows is Jon & Kate Plus 8, on TLC. It features a couple with 2 sets of multiples, twins and sextuplets, and is endlessly hilarious. Alexis, the wildest sextuplet, loves alligators, but she calls them aldergators because she is 4. Tune in on Mondays at 9pmEST for all the dramz of raising 8 kids while constantly picking on your spouse. Good times! *PS- the gator featured in the post was left homeless from Hurricane Ike. My thoughts are with him as he searches for his family.

Buy You a Drank

Bar patron: Baby girl, what's your name? Let me talk to you, let me buy you a drank.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Move Over, Pilot Inspektor

Loving the wacky names Sarah Palin picked for her multitude of children? Well you can have one too by using the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator! My first name + middle name = Open Aircraft Palin

Look What You Did, You Little Jerk!

Home Alone is one of my favorite movies. Macaulay Culkin + clumsy robbers = the LOLs! Unfortunately, I now have a problem with Joe Pesci...
You see, my P.I.C. has recently introduced me to gangster movies. So far we've watch Goodfellas, The Godfather and Casino. I loved Goodfellas for its dark humor, I slept through much of The Godfather (this included 2 viewing attempts), but Joe Pesci's performance in Casino changed the game. Yes, it's true Pesci was in Goodfellas, but it wasn't until Casino that I had the displeasure of seeing him in a sexual context: making out with Sharon Stone and pushing her head down to his manly regions. Gag! Why couldn't Pesci's Nicky Santoro just be a tries-too-harder who doesn't get any action?
So, this holiday season, how the hell am I supposed to watch Home Alone with the same enthusiasm as years past? Harry and Marv's crime team will never look the same...

Monday, September 15, 2008

I Want My MTV

So here's the deal: I have a love-hate relationship with MTV. I hate it for everything it's not and I defend it for everything to which it has evolved (if I can be so complimentary). Quite an inner conflict, right? You see, back in the day, MTV had amazing programming, some even musical: Old school Road Rules (no back-stabbing eliminations there), The Grind and Say What? Karaoke, the slightly educational Sex2k series (which I believe morphed into my recent favorite True Life), the fictional sauce Undressed, and of course, the 90's staple Total Request Live. Those simple days of MTV are over: I was saddened to read that TRL is 'ending' because it is truly the last show of the network's previous life. Currently, I see MTV as a lifestyle network. Yes, the 'M' does stand for music, but our culture, or the one MTV has created, won't allow a network to adhere to the monotonous programming of music videos. In a furiously paced world where even my DVR won't fast forward quickly enough, the network had no choice but to diversify. In doing so, MTV tapped into the mentality of its current 12-34 year olds (their core demo) and created a channel that caters to their lifestyle interests. Shows like The Hills (my arch nem, more on that later), My Super Sweet 16, Real World/Road Rules Challenges, and Run's House touch on the image the media insists adequately represents our teens: girl-on-girl hate, shopping, hooking up, jealousy, nepotism, and aspirations to be famous. MTV speaks to a generation to which none of us belong (thank gaw) and leaves many bewildered at the network that was once our social staple. I admit, programming like Fat Camp, with it's vintage MTV appeal, will suck me into marathon viewing any day but I can't sit through one more second of Lauren Conrad's scripted existence that is now invading my tabloid readings (US Weekly no longer gets my dolla dolla bills, y'all).

Friday, September 12, 2008

You Look Like A Rabbit.

My boyf and I aren't too serious about Halloween, but the idea of dressing as SNL's Two A-Holes is too brills to ignore.
Another possible costume for him is Billy Mays! You know, that guy who pushes Oxy Clean and is constantly YELLING? Some insanely dark beardage and a loud voice would complete the costume.
My final idea is genius for its simplicity. If all else fails, just write "Not Penny's Boat" on the palm of your left hand. I just recommend staying above water while doing so. R.I.P. Charlie!

Nerd Alert!

Last night I kicked some serious behind during an exciting game of scrabble! Final score:
Me: 362
Opponent: 315
My most helpful letters:
Q, J, and all triple word score squares, clearly.
I also learned about the highly education game Smath: i.e., math scrabble. Does this turn a tiny tine into a mathlete?

Jump Around

If I were a pup, this would be me. Still rockin' the wind in my hair, er, ears... fierce!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

This I Promise You

While my love of outspoken celebs has previously been mentioned, at times, usually when they disagree with me, that love turns to disdain. During this year's MTV Video Music Awards, Jordin Sparks shot back at VMA host Russel Brand, after he mocked the Jonas Brothers for wearing promise rings saying, "I just have one thing to say about promise rings. It’s not bad to wear a promise ring, because not everybody – guy or girl – wants to be a slut."
For those of you who don't know, promise rings (also referred to as purity rings) are worn by teens who have pledged to stay 'pure' until they are married, saving themselves for their future spouse.
Hats off to Jordin for defending her promise-ring-wearing-self (whatever), but clearly there is one small problem (which thankfully she has gone on to acknowledge): just because one does not take this pledge of purity, does not make him a slut. More importantly, and on a grander scale, this pledge or promise should not replace proper sex education for teens. I am a firm believer that the more you tell a person (young or old) that something is off-limits, the more likely he is to try it. In truth, abstinence is the best form of birth control because one one is simply not having sex, but it's a disservice to every person in this country to not equip our youth with the knowledge to make an informed decision on this very personal topic, whenever he is ready to do so.

Why So Serious?

Since I've been reporting hard-hittng news today, I felt this baby should be included. Alexender Schreiber has lots on his mind. As my friend Kate pointed out, he is the world's most worried baby.

It's a Doggy Dog World

Newsflash: Incredibly cute pup is up in our office and she's very smiley! Her name is Ginger and she enjoys sniffing the floor. I suggested the pup sit at my desk and type for me, perhaps even be a guest blogger, but she walked on by...
I'm Brian Fellow!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Sweet Home Alabama

While I am a southen girl (not belle), I am not much into country music. But this version of Sweet Home Alabama just may change your life. Vocal stylings by *Dianne. *Special thanks to MTV for this weight-loss wonder.

Bourne Again

My love of outspoken celebs goes beyond appreciating their unwavering solipsism- I admire, in most cases, anyone who speaks his mind with the knowledge to back it up. Today I came across this gem. Matt Damon verbalizes a portion of my own fears about Sarah Palin's Vice Presidential nomination and I high-five him for it. Another favorite on my politically-left celebrity list is Alec Baldwin. Though I fell in comedy heart with Alec from his many apprearances on Saturday Night Live, his "Bush"-lashing of late has turned this 'ship into full blown love. In the words of an esteemed co-worker, "Sarah Palin, you are a thoughtless little pig!" Si se puede!

Well, It's Time To Be Clear About Who I Am.

Dear Interweb, welcome to my blog! You are now reading cyber space fabulosity. Please enjoy musings on my current hobbies including (but clearly not limited to): crying at weddings, choosing my favorite child on 'Jon & Kate Plus 8,' politics and my political boyfriend, coveting all MKA fashion-related items, quarter life crises, waving at dogs, eating sour candy, love-hating Christina Aguilera's new look, Jinger fan club, and, now, blogging. Yes We Can!