Thursday, February 26, 2009

Lorne, Can You Hear Me?

Yet another shining example of John Mayer's comedic genius (is it too soon for genius?): questioning Britney Spears' song writing,
"...[A]ll of the songs are sort of like, ‘I’m getting all my girls together, we’re gonna go out’ and ‘I’ve got holes cut out for bleep, I got flashlights on me'. And then it’s like, ‘why’s everybody looking at me? ‘Everybody’s looking at me’ because oh, did you hear verse two, Britney?”

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Dear Republicans

Barack Obama is not a gimmick.

You're Mad At Your Father! I Forgive You!

Conservative columnist George Will proves there's always room for homophobia with this brainless and heartless remark about men hugging one another. Will's legit point about Obama still wanting to reach across party lines was sadly but most deservedly lost.

Question of the Day

Was Nancy Pelosi wearing a Slanket during President Obama's address to Congress?

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Soapboxing for NOW

I'm a newcomer to Fox's 24, and while loving the plot, I can't help but notice that the writers clearly hate women. Recent stories include
  • a woman who unknowingly dates a terrorist and has "he-beats-me-because-he-loves-me" syndrome
  • a woman who goes along with her married love interest's scheme to crash the FBI computer system (the agency they both work for) merely because he says, "I love you."
  • a female agent who acts to be the emotional mess (and I mean MESS) in comparison to Jack Bauer's steely exterior after any and all action scenes.

Really 24?! This is the best you can do with your female characters? Now I'm only left with tech genius Chloe who is written as utterly sarcastic (hilarious) but nothing outside that one note. It's the old smart vs. pretty pickle. Don't get me wrong, I will continue to watch so I can decode Kiefer Sutherland's whisper-yells each week, but I don't have much hope for these lady characters (2 are already dead, go figure).

Hooked on Phonics

Please let this be true! Perez is saying that Kath Griff signed a deal to pen her autobiography. I'm hoping for some book on tape (er, CD/itunes) action so I can just listen and laugh and not bother with literacy. Random quote I associated with this story: "He can't see without his glasses!"

Monday, February 23, 2009

Reporting for Duty

Despite being on call as a United Nations Messenger of Peace in Africa, George Clooney still manages to crack some jokes, leaving his interviewer, NBC's Ann Curry, unable to keep her hands off him.

Mrs. Robotron

I know Beyonce has many redeeming qualities (club bangers like Single Ladies), but like I've said before, she's a robot! Check her out on last night's Academy Awards' red caret- who poses like that? We get it, you work out and your arms are toned, but you're not a Barbie doll, what's with the awkward stance? More importantly, don't wear a dress that clearly makes you uncomfortable or self-conscious, that's fashion rule #1, right?

Top Chef

Good news, world: I can cook! I proved myself last night with a Rachel Ray recipe that turned out quite deliciously. The dish is dubbed Moroccan Chili and 10,000 Grains of Sand. It's basically chili with couscous, but the spices add a non-traditional twist. My only tip: you don't have to use lamb. I cooked up some lean ground beef and it was a great sub, plus I had at least made hamburgers before so was a little more familiar with beef than lamb. So, if you're in need of a winter dish, this one is quick and yum-o! (Ew, the Rachel Ray inspiration went one step too far.)

Friday, February 20, 2009

Newsflash: Celibacy is a Crock

Finally, a former nun is admitting it.

The Fairer Sex?

There's nothing I hate more than Cosmopolitan magazine. If you need a trashtastic glossy telling you how to run your romantic relationships and sex life then you don't deserve to have either. Even worse is the Yahoo! Personals relationship column. Today Yahoo! Personals ran a piece called "Dating 101: Will He Ever Marry You?" Beyond the notion that you can't simply talk to your partner about marriage, you must read about the probability, the most disgusting detail of this story is the 'advice' section at the end, "The Art of the Ultimatum: Three times when it might pay to nudge him a bit." I find 'ultimatum' offensive to both men and women. Am I to think that only women want to get married? And if so, that we're so damn desperate to do so, women essentially have to trick a man into a life long commitment? On the other hand, based on this, it seems men never ever want to get married. Marriage must be a man's biggest fear and he is dumb enough to be tricked into a lifelong commitment. Plus if a man was in fact ready for marriage, he simply couldn't recognize this on his own and would need that ultimatum. Advice giver and psychologist Alon Gratch, PhD must have a fake degree (and no brain) because no thoughtful person would listen to this tripe. Most annoying: this Yahoo! Personals guidance was lifted from Cosmo, they're in cahoots. Why must a supposed women's magazine play into the worst gender stereotypes?

It Takes One To Know One

Parents of 18 Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar weighed in on the octomom during their recent Larry King Live appearance (Joy Behar was guest hosting for King). The grossest highlight from the interview? Joy asked Michelle if she ever turns down Jim's advances:
Behar: Do you ever say to Jim Bob, get away from me, I have a headache?
Jim Bob Duggar: Actually, I can't keep her away from me.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Oh, The Places You'll Go

Next on my list: San Luis Obispo, CA! Why? I'm told they have quality wine tastings in the area but more importantly, I desperately want to spend the night at the Madonna Inn! This goofy hotel features themed guest rooms, including ones called Jungle Rock, Old Mexico and Fabulous Fifties (my fave). The Inn also boasts a pretty classy (and I use that term loosely) steak house. Did you say steak? One last selling point, the Madonna Inn was recently featured on an episode of The Girls Next Door, so you know this joint is only for VIP's!

I Love Geronimo Jackson

But more importantly, I love Lost. I love Wednesdays, when I can curl up with my new Slanket (hells yeah, I got one) and my Lost buddy and time travel with my now island-bound friends. Almost as good as watching a new ep is dishing about it the next day. I have just now joined the online fun with Entertainment Weekly's column, an episode recap with nerdy insight into the mind bending plot and help with connecting the dots to past seasons. Questions based on last night's travels: Is Penny dead? Where is Aaron? Seriously. Why does Kate have to be that girl and use sex as a weapon? Why wasn't I handcuffed to Sayid?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Job Opening

At the New York Post since a cartoonist decided to draw and his editor chose to print this piece of racist garbage.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

America's Next Top Model

You simply cannot deny the fabulosity of Mary-Kate (and of course, Ashley) Olsen.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I'm Right On Top of That Rose!

In the job world, I would be best suited as the talent booker on Saturday Night Live and I wouldn't be as stuck up as the Nina Katz character on Sex & The City who gave Carrie 'the look.' Since I have impeccable host taste, first on my list is John Mayer. Mayer's comedy talents seem to be overshadowed by his pesky day job (and boring tabloid 'ship with Jen Aniston). Too much singing for you? Check out John Mayer Has a TV Show: insanely short lived, but hilarious. If John couldn't make it, maybe Paula Dean could host?

She Works (Out) Hard for the Money

I hate when celebs say they don't work out. It's complete BS: no one can stay skinny 24/7 with a steady regimen of chasing their toddler, lots of yoga, walking their dog or some other lame excuse that the tabloids feed me. But, for once, the truth is being spoken! Rom com queen, and apple of Hugh Grant's eye, Sandra Bullock is telling it like it is in the new issue of In Style (she's one of the 12 women they rotate around for each month's issue):
"People ask, 'How do actresses do it?' Um, they pay us to do this in order to look good on film. I do Pilates, kickboxing, weight training. When I'm in Austin, I run or ride a bike. If I can work out every day, I will. But there are times when I won't do anything for two weeks, and I'm like, 'You know what? I talk enough to burn calories.'"
Besides, we all know what happens when you don't work out. Right, Jessica? (burn!)

Monday, February 9, 2009

Swaggering for Two

I think most would agree that M.I.A.'s fashion choice last night wasn't the most flattering, but her overall fabulosity can take a hit like that. Sure, the Grammy folks completely chopped Paper Planes to a mere 23 second taste, but M.I.A. held her own among rap's leading men. I most enjoyed each performers visible swagger, including M.I.A.'s pregnancy walk, and even found myself enjoying Lil Wayne, but just for a moment...

Friday, February 6, 2009

Question of the Day

Why do people Twitter? It's a glorified away message. And besides, no one cares what you're doing.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

And Since We're Talking Britney...

This is my fave paparazzi clip of her during the meltdown year. Fast forward to 4:00 and you will see Britney searching for her sis, Jamie Lynn, in a sea of photogs. The Soup said it best: Brit's wandering around like a blind person. For some reason, her semi-Southern accent and mild disorientation crack me up every time!

And That My Friend Is What They Call Closure

During Britney's meltdown year, she wore some questionable outfits, but the one featured to the left garnered a lot of attention, marking yet another major lack of (fashion) judgement. At the time, I knew I had seen her in the same "dress" before but couldn't find the evidence. At last, Google images has come to the rescue. Girlfriend had iffy taste before taking the crazy pills, in y'all were wondering. *Also, why does Britney insist on wearing extensions? Why not rock a great wig, like the great brunette one featured in part of her MTV docu or just rock a short, sassy do?

Come to Marlboro Country

For some reason, I always considered Gwyneth Paltrow to be mildly intelligent. Maybe it was the pretentious attitude I picked up on, but clearly I was mislead. In an interview with Elle magazine (U.K.), Paltrow talks excitedly of one day returning to her smoking habit,
"The last cigarette I smoked was the day I found out I as pregnant with Apple," she says. "I'm so pissed off it gives you cancer. But then, once you have children, if you've witnessed a death like I did with my father, you just can't. But I've decided that when I'm about 70 I'm going to start smoking again. Why not? I can't wait!"


I really want a Slanket. Badly. I want a Slanket to keep me warm while keeping my arms free to move! Unfortunately, some people (or person) I know find them horrendous and think the Slanket would become some sort of jacket to be worn outdoors. Well, good news! Courtesy of Lauren, there are some more stylish Slanket alternatives*. Some are ponchoesque, but would still be doable for indoor use.
*Please note, the video embedded on this page is for the Snuggie, an imitation Slanket. It looks cheap and felt-like, but you get the picture.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Those Are Fighting Words!

As previously mentioned, I recently saw the biopic Notorious and enjoyed Naturi Naughton's portrayal of Lil Kim. Well, it turns out Lil Kim doesn't feel the same way. When Kim expressed her feelings against Naughton's casting, B.I.G.'s mother spoke out reprimanding Kim, "Tell Lil Kim to go find herself, go drink a cup of green tea and get a life! Green tea? Really?!

I Didn't Watch the Superbowl

But in my defense, no one told me about the Steelers' hot head coach.